1.Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.
2.The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the two most complicated things that every guy understands no matter how dumb he is.
3.One of the players on our junior high football team never saw action in a game. But my brother, the assistant coach, liked the kid and always gave him pep talks.
"Remember, Ben," he told him, "everyone on this team has an important role. There is no I in team."
"True," said the boy. "But there is a Ben in bench.
4. A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
5.knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting squawking parrot.
Interrupting squawking parr-
SQUAWKKKKKKKKKKKK!
6.A prisoner, after many years, is finally released.
He runs around yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
7.A little kid walks up to him and says, "So what, I'm 4."
A man arrived on Friday in a small town. He stayed for two days and left on Friday.How is this possible?
His horse name was Friday!
8.Knock knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don't let me in!
9. Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
10. Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
11.A math joke
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!
12.A history joke
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
13. What can you put in your right hand but not your left?
Your left elbow.
14. A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord: “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
15. Two kids talking:
“I painted something for last year’s academy.”
“Was it hung?”
“Yes, near the entrance where everybody could see it.”
“Congratulations! What was it?”
“A board saying, ‘Keep To The Left’.”
16. Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
17. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep
18. Knock knock
Whose there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whose there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whose there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana…..
19. Knock knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas and a happy new year
20. Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.
First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all obviously.
Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'
Third kid forgets and shouts 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'
Posted by: Fatima Aamir and Faiza Rehan
2.The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the two most complicated things that every guy understands no matter how dumb he is.
3.One of the players on our junior high football team never saw action in a game. But my brother, the assistant coach, liked the kid and always gave him pep talks.
"Remember, Ben," he told him, "everyone on this team has an important role. There is no I in team."
"True," said the boy. "But there is a Ben in bench.
4. A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
5.knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting squawking parrot.
Interrupting squawking parr-
SQUAWKKKKKKKKKKKK!
6.A prisoner, after many years, is finally released.
He runs around yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
7.A little kid walks up to him and says, "So what, I'm 4."
A man arrived on Friday in a small town. He stayed for two days and left on Friday.How is this possible?
His horse name was Friday!
8.Knock knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don't let me in!
9. Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
10. Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
11.A math joke
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!
12.A history joke
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
13. What can you put in your right hand but not your left?
Your left elbow.
14. A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord: “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
15. Two kids talking:
“I painted something for last year’s academy.”
“Was it hung?”
“Yes, near the entrance where everybody could see it.”
“Congratulations! What was it?”
“A board saying, ‘Keep To The Left’.”
16. Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
17. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep
18. Knock knock
Whose there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whose there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whose there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana…..
19. Knock knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas and a happy new year
20. Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.
First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all obviously.
Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'
Third kid forgets and shouts 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'
Posted by: Fatima Aamir and Faiza Rehan